Miles to go Before Sleep
by hilzanne
Summary: "How can you forgive me so easily?" "Everyone deserves love. It's just part of being human." Leorai-centric alternate ending to the episode The Deadly Venom, if Karai had fought off the mind worm right then and there. Very romantic ending ;)


**I've had this story in my head for a good while, ever since the episode The Deadly Venom first aired. I was really hoping for a much happier ending to that episode, since I absolutely love Karai as a character. This story is my alternate ending! I ship Leorai pretty hard, so if you're not into that, you might not be crazy about this story. ENJOY!**

As her clouded vision began to clear, Karai stared at the revolting creature before her on the concrete floor of the subway tunnel.

 _That thing,_ she thought, _was inside me?_

The mind worm gave a dull squeal before falling limp and lifeless. Karai's breaths finally began to calm as she turned her gaze to her surroundings. Her memories felt like dreams, fuzzy and intangible.

"What... Happened?" she whispered to herself, steadying on her hands and knees.

Her thoughts were halted by a kind and familiar voice.

"Karai..." Leo called.

She lifted her gaze as the turtle moved towards her hesitantly. Leo's suffering brothers hung from chains behind him, and Karai's memories came over her like a tidal wave. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she cried out as she pounded her fists on the concrete.

Leonardo broke into a run, meeting her on the cold subway floor. He took her hands into his as tears streamed down her scaly cheeks.

"What have I done?" she wailed repeatedly between rushed breaths.

The turtle wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly into his plastron.

"Shh," he cooed while Karai clinged to him desperately. "It's okay. You're not under his control any longer. It's all gonna be okay."

"But I poisoned everyone!" she cried. "I tried to kill them! Even you!"

She tried to push away from Leo, but he kept her close. "No, _you_ didn't. That was not you, Karai. That was the Shredder using your own mind against you. It's not your fault."

Karai looked into Leo's deep sapphire eyes. "I should have fought harder against the mind control-"

Leo took her by the shoulders, gaze burning into hers. "Hear me, Karai. You have nothing to be sorry for. We're going to take you home, and figure out a way to make the Shredder pay for what he's done to us all. I promise."

She shook her head. "No... I can't go back with you. I don't deserve anything from you. I deserve to be left on the streets for dead. There is nothing I could ever do to make up for-"

"You don't need to make it up to us. None of this was you!" Leo's eyes pleaded with her. "Please. Let us help you."

Her heart ached. "I... I can't-"

"Please. Please come back with us," Leo begged, eyes beginning to well.

Eyes magnetized to Leonardo, a new flood of tears began. She was baffled by his kindness, searching for reasons in his eyes. No words came to her as she surrendered, laying her head on his shoulder. She quietly wept as he gently stroked her back.

As her tears faded and her breaths returned to a normal rhythm, she lifted her eyes to search Leo's face. There was no malice within him, no anger or hatred or bitterness. His sparkling blue gaze was gentle and perfect.

"How?" she asked in a whisper. "How can you forgive me so easily? How can you not hate me?"

A three-fingered hand gently cupped her jaw. "Because you are a part of us now. You're our family. And families forgive, no matter what." His other hand joined the first, cradling her face.

"There is nothing you could ever do to make me hate you."

Karai was mentally and physically exhausted. An oppressive storm of emotions stole the ability to sleep from her, forcing her to stare at the ceiling of the lair as she lay on the couch. The poisoned turtles had long since gone to bed to recover, leaving Master Splinter and Leonardo to meditate in the lair.

Leo's words still resonated in her mind. There was such an indefinable warmth about him. His kind-heartedness was something she had never truly known. Oroku Saki was the only family she had ever had. A cold, remote, unaffectionate father figure who expected nothing but perfection. Her true father was polar opposite.

Splinter's eyes had welled immediately upon meeting Karai's. Without a single question of why or how she was there, he had extended his arms, welcoming her home. It had made her cry all over again.

Not once had she cried in front of the Shredder. He would never have allowed such a blatant display of weakness. She had never had a casual conversation with him; he was too business-minded. They had never even shared a genuine laugh together.

"Home" was not a concept familiar to her. She certainly loved Japan, but even when she walked into her house there, it was not a warm place. There was little comfort and few luxuries in it. But when she arrived at the lair, she felt peace wash over her in the midst of her tumultuous mind. Even the scavenged couch had felt plush and indulgent. Perhaps she could make this place a home after all.

" _Oyasumi, Sensei,"_ Karai heard Leo say from the dojo.

" _Oyasumi, musuko,"_ Splinter replied.

Karai rolled to her side, pretending to be asleep as Leo's soft footsteps padded across the lair. They suddenly stopped just a few feet from where she lie.

"I know you're not asleep," Leo said in a low voice.

She sighed deeply, opening one eye. "How'd you know?"

He sat sideways on the arm of the couch, facing her. "Heard you roll over. Ninja-level hearing," he said through a smile. "Got a lot on your mind, I'm sure."

Karai sat up and crossed her legs. "Yeah. It's really hard to shut your mind off when it keeps replaying your worst memories."

Leonardo nodded. "I know what it's like to do something you regret, and to hurt people you care about."

Karai scoffed. "Right. Splinter's perfect student makes plenty of mistakes."

He furrowed his brow. "I'm far from perfect, Karai." He hesitated, looking distant.

Leo drew in a deep breath. "Have you ever noticed that little lightning bolt-shaped chip out of Raph's plastron?"

She thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think so."

"Well, Raph and I have always had a bit of a rivalry. Back when we were little kids, Splinter allowed us to start using weapons. He taught us how to spar without hurting each other and we all caught on pretty quickly. But one day, Raph was being particularly cocky, making fun of me..."

He paused, shaking his head. "And I... Lost my cool. I just went at him, with all this rage pent up inside me, and I sliced into his shell."

Karai widened her eyes. "Never knew you had such a temper."

The turtle avoided eye contact. "I don't anymore. But I took a pretty good chunk out of him. Imagine having all your nails ripped off at once."

She winced.

"That's what it felt like for him. And I just felt sick. Splinter said it might heal up, but it never did completely. Every single time I look at him, I'm reminded of it. Every single time I spar, I think of it." Leo crossed his arms.

"That little chip is a constant reminder that rage is extremely volatile."

Karai leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I learned that the hard way. Getting turned into this horrible mutant that I am."

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"If I had listened to you that night... If I had stayed, and not gone after Shredder, I never..." she sighed heavily. "I never would have gotten mutated, and I never would have hurt you or your brothers."

Leo's expression turned soft and concerned. "Karai, you can't-"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm..." She looked him full in the face before she spoke again. "I'm sorry, Leo. I'm so sorry. For not listening to you when you told me to stay, for not believing you when you said Splinter was my father, for... Everything. Everything I've ever done to you."

The turtle moved onto the couch next to Karai and took her hands in his. "I know it's not easy for you to say that. And it really means a lot to me that you did. But you can't let your regrets burden you anymore. You've apologized, you're forgiven, so now you can just let it go."

She shook her head. "I wish it were that simple. But I guess I just haven't learned how to forgive myself yet."

Leonardo's oversized thumb brushed over Karai's pale skin. "That's the hardest part. And it will come in time. Just remember to not let the weight of every regret crush you. You have to keep moving forward."

Karai played with Leo's fingers, lacing hers between them. "Thanks... For taking pity on me enough to help me.

"It's not pity, Karai. I don't feel sorry for you at all. I know you're strong and smart and beaut-" Leo cleared his throat, blushing a bit.

"It's... You're a part of us now. Just like April and Casey. We love them just like family."

"Love?" Karai said, shocked. She smiled sadly, shaking her head and looking away. "You're giving me way more than I'll ever deserve."

"Everyone deserves love. That's just part of being human."

Leonardo's words made her heart ache. His large hands gently caressed her own, and his azure eyes searched her for a response. Love? The word was terrifying to her. But when her gaze met Leo's and her pulse quickened, she could think of no word more exact.

"Technically, I'm not really a human anymore," she said, smiling.

Leo chuckled. "I was never human to begin with! Donnie would say that it's the mind that matters, not the DNA."

Karai looked at Leo as she never had before. Every last dark freckle, each fray in his bandana, each tiny scratch in his shell became apparent to her. Every imperfection he had screamed at her; how his left eye had dark blue speckles, how there was a smudge of grease on the tail of his mask, how his voice cracked sometimes when he spoke. He had never looked more flawed, or more beautiful.

"Leo, I know I've got a lot of issues, and a lot of scars that still need to heal, but..." She lifted a hand to his neck, brushing his cheek with her thumb.

"I'm ready to be a part of this family."

She watched emotions flash over the turtle's face, from shock to joy.

"That makes me..." Leo started, but he could not hold back a huge goofy grin. "That makes me really happy, Karai."

She felt an uncontrollable tingling warmth spread from her chest into her finger tips. "Me too."

Her heart rate was out of control, beating wildly as her hand put pressure on Leo's neck, subtly drawing him closer to her. Fluttery jitters made her feel like she was on a sugar high, especially when she glanced at the turtle's lips. Leo's hand rested on her wrist, and his other reciprocated on her neck. The space between them was slowly shrinking, and Karai breathed in deeply as her eyes fell shut.

Leonardo's lips met hers in a painfully brief yet blissful moment before he pulled slightly away. But Karai pulled him right back in.

Her aching heart pounded joyfully in her chest as their lips met once again in a desperate dance. Both Karai's hands were magnetized to his neck, and Leo held the back of her head. Their mouths caressed one another torturously slowly, stretching each instant into an eternity. For the first time in a long time, her mind was focused on one thing alone. Leonardo.

Kisses became more exhilarating as they explored each other. Karai tasted chamomile tea as her tongue gently brushed Leo's lower lip. He returned the favor, and soon their tongues were entangled in a glorious mess. Leo's hand moved to Karai's jaw, stroking her with his thumb as their kissing became heated. He sighed audibly, making her blood pump even harder.

Karai found a way to entwine their fingers as she sensed the lingering taste of tea on Leo's tongue. Their lips embraced one another, slowly gliding and grazing. Taking his time, the turtle kissed the corner of her mouth, making his way to her cheek, then to her jaw. She kept her eyes closed, enjoying ever sensation as Leo's lips briefly brushed her neck. He tenderly rubbed his cheek against her, taking a slow breath and sighing. He kissed his way back to her mouth before nuzzling into her neck on the opposite side.

As their kissing burned out, Karai silently thought upon the first time she had met Leonardo. Strong, bold, smart. Intriguing. He was so opposite to every idea of family and love she had ever known, yet she was drawn like a moth to flame. Perhaps she had subconsciously known he would change her life. Perhaps it was destiny.

No matter how or why, she wanted to be nowhere else but in his arms.

" **Oyasumi" means "goodnight" in Japanese, and "musuko" means "son," in case you were curious! I hope you enjoyed!**


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